Firstly, everyday is a new page in your journal 💛
Secondly you don’t know what you don’t know so therefore you do not know… choices made in the past are often based on this… So why do we get mad at ourselves and dwell in the past when we are better off living in the moment forward?
I believe there comes a time when we have the opportunity to cut through the bullshit we feed ourselves to sooth and appease our egos in order to truly own who we are – the good, the bad and the ugly as they say and take ownership of the fact that we are where we are because we only knew what we knew.
I spent the first 38 or so years of my life truly believe that I was a detrimentally flawed, less than, a not very special unattractive human being. Not understanding that in my world – I am the world. I am the ruler of my domain and perfectly imperfect in every way.
There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in realising that once we know more we can do better! Pretending that we are the victim of our life because we do not know any better is part of stepping into our true power. If we do not know we are fooling ourselves then we will never ever know how to be that person who rises up to the challenge of questioning every thing we believed was not our choice.
I had no idea how to slice through the ego bullshit, the lying voice in my head that believed I would never ever be whole and amazing just as I was. I believed the rejections from my father, my paternal grandparents and every unevolved man who I accepted only to be shattered into pieces meant that there was something about me that was bad. The reality that I would never measure up to the person who mattered most to me and their own sense of success and acceptability in a child who felt they had to fight to be noticed and to matter. I did not understand that none of this was a reflection of me – it was a reflection of them and their inability to cut through their own bullshit.
It’s an amazing epiphany to see that you had the power all along… Not just in lip service but to truly believe this. To believe that we owe nothing to anyone in terms of our authenticity. We do not need to bow down or diminish our own sense of right and greatness.
I did not know that ingrained in my programming since childhood was a faulty formula that was input by a dysfunctional adult role model set, the wounds of others and the incorrect input of standards set by others. What a load of damaged crap went into moulding and guiding me.
The world we live in has us believing that we must diminish ourselves and who we are in order to allow others to feel bigger, better, more important. Stuff that!! We have been taught that serving with no return makes us better people. Pfft. We have been taught that we have no right to lovingly accept who we are, how dare we even think we can be strong and happy right where we are without fitting in to the mold that society has printed for us!!
It’s outrageous!! And the worst part is we try and appease our egos by giving in! Why do we bend and fold in order to be accepted when in truth we should stand straight and own our authority on life. It is our own individual life after all.
It’s not about becoming arrogant and entitled. Far far from it. It is about acknowledging the wonder that is self and not allowing anything, or anyone to step into our space and call the shots.
Not everyone in our space will last the distance when we choose to cut through the bullshit. And that is a good thing. Why would we want people that have not earnt a place in our energy field anyway?
It’s a lot to process. We are not on earth to live on bread crumbs and scarcity. We are here to have it all. The universe is not stingy or punishing us. It is offering us an amazing and loving environment to thrive in. We were just never taught this. We were born on this earth to experience life. Not to be oppressed by other people’s wants, needs, ideas and opinions. Especially not to feel like shit for being alive!!
Empowerment and ownership comes from within. Clarity comes through having had enough of your own bullshit!
There is only one person who can change what you will accept. And that is you!! Are you ready for your own internal revolution? Are you ready to become the ruler of you?
Much love,
Tess x
Soul Searching 