I’ve been pondering much lately. My mind and heart chattering away between feeling and thinking and reconciling these two arch enemies. I was mulling over things randomly in my pondering chair in the heat of the summer afternoon, and it occurred to me how easily we become fuzzy in our perception and reality.
Our egos are so very clever at winning over! Especially when we have so much healing to do. We zone out of our authentic self. We subconsciously choose to listen to the voice inside that tells us we are no good, that we are failing, hopeless, undeserving and so on. Pride steps in and we don’t ask for help to re centre and rebalance. How easy we get trapped in the cycle of ego and repetition of old habits.
I reflect now on the beautiful Moon card, number 18 of the Major Arcana in the tarot. The illusion of darkness that descends as the sun sets and night falls. The shadows that play tricks on our minds and imaginations. How entrancing the moon can be. So mesmerizing and intoxicating. Nothing seems quite the same by moonlight.
Sometimes on a very dark night it is so black and frightening that even a rustle can send shivers and fear through us. Yet We conjure up monsters and believe they are real. We cannot see the moon clearly, but it is always there. And then there are other times we bask in the hazy glow of the moon’s shimmer imagining beautiful scenes of fairytale and fantasy. There is something ethereal about the moon, yet most of us have learned through our schooling the facts as they are known, but this cannot take away from the imagination and power that the Moon holds on us. I think now of the journeys in a car or on a train as a little girl and seeing the moon bright and large in the night sky and believing the illusion that she was “following” me. Yet I don’t feel foolish for believing that. Why? Because when you take things as you see them – it’s natural to believe.
This is kind of like those moments where we are certain of something, yet it is actually not so. The Moons effect in the wisdom of the tarot can be like that. All is not as it appears and only dawn and clarity can prove this.
The metaphors of the cards never cease to inspire me to learn and grow. The layers and layers are so rich and full.
The myths and legends of the moon, the worship and the magick linked to it is a big part of our culture in many places. The Moon can very much symbolise the opposite to illusion. It can be intuition heightened and calling us to be still and listen. If we don’t we might lead ourselves on a wild goose chase. I think it all depends how far we dare to venture from the pool that keeps us hidden. Yet we allow ourselves to believe what we see and hear because we need to.
When we get lost in the hypnotic pull of the moon, it becomes a little confusing, and we can lose our way a little. And I guess that’s when we begin to believe what our ego voice is telling us. We don’t stop to question the validity for clarity.
Our emotions are deeply changeable and prone to shift, like the tides. Our egos love this because it adds fuel to what it is telling us.
If we allow this to build and build, it is hard to move out of the abyss that is our life and all it’s watery emotion that pulls us under beneath the moon.
We are human and we are prone to great ups and downs, just as there are seasons of extreme cool and heat. The moon determines the ebb and flow of the oceans – like the ebb and flow of our emotions – always shifting and moving.
To notice and acknowledge when we are experiencing a period of uncertainty and illusion, even disillusionment, might help us to be aware of our ego voice and the traps it is setting us. It might allow us to pause and allow things to be what they are, after all they can’t be anything else. What if we were to hush those night noises of our ego and the distractions of the night and tune into our deeper selves?
Not all we think and feel is really so. Not all we think others think of us or feel about us is true either. To try and remain at least with a tiny part of ourselves grounded in our authentic self while we travel through the darkness might make all the difference! If not, that’s OK too. The Sun will bring clarity again. Just be kind to yourself and forgiving of yourself on that day.