I have discovered on a personal level that I have ingrained codes of what affects my conscience. It’s funny how we don’t realise the potential effect our actions can have on others until we are faced with a personal moral dilemma.
It’s interesting how The Lovers, Justice and The Hierophant can tell the story of choice between pure love and desire, the consequences of that choice and how far we are willing to go before our moral and ethical beliefs cause us to choose what we believe at our core essence and halt.
It makes us question how high or low we wish to demonstrate our value, and pushes us to draw back and truly understand a part of ourselves that we always believed we had, but never truly claimed ownership to.
There are times in our life where we do what’s right not because we want to, but because our higher self compels us. To battle against what we truly desire and have in reach, is a real test of our self value.
The Wheel shows us that what goes around comes around, we are never up for too long and never right down for too long. It shows us that what we put out, returns, and teaches us that what we are considering breaking our code for is never meant to be permanent anyway. Change and movement is inevitable. Pretending it isn’t is fooling ourselves and setting us up for The Tower.
To have these dilemmas of conscience brings us to a state of hanging – The Hanged Man and all that his meaning encompasses. We are suspended in a state of being almost frozen. Fear, pride, wanting – all these things bring us to a period of deep silent reflection. Uncomfortable reflection too.
Our world has been turned upside down and all we can do is retreat until we have the insight to accept what is and learn that the more we fight, the more fatigued we get.
There is an opportunity for surrender to our higher self. To come to a solitary conclusion in which we know that this period has taught us so much enables us to let go of what has put us in this position in the first place.
Of course personally I have faced moral choices before, but somehow the low value I placed on myself was a perfectly acceptable reason to ignore that caring, knowing voice of logic and heart. This always, always resulted in the Wheel turning abruptly, and the harsh side of Justice to come slamming down.
Usually this was by not only the personal shame that was felt in the long-term , but by the Law of Attraction making me harvest what I had sown.
To find out what it is like to care about oneself, and to truly believe that we deserve so much good is quite a new concept for those who never before have placed high value on their own existence.
To get used to having love for oneself and believe in being worthy is the key to loving others in a way that is pure and almost holy. The choices we face, the dualities of light and dark, cause and effect become clearly apparent to us.
This also means that anything that doesn’t align with the amazing gifts we as precious beings deserve in every aspect of our lives becomes blatantly obvious. With this high value, we know instinctively that the choice we must decide on is clear .
This personal growth, value of self and awareness does not mean it is by any means always easy to make the right choices for us. But it does give us the springboard to remain true to our authenticity. That is the road to inner peace. That is the solid seedling of true love. All of a sudden it makes sense – to love others we must first love ourselves.
Soul Searching 
thank you so much
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